Most families choose a funeral home in a single phone call, on one of the hardest days of their lives, with no chance to comparison-shop. That is exactly when it helps to know that you have real, federal rights as a funeral consumer — and a short list of questions that quickly reveal how a funeral home actually operates.
Here are the ten we would tell our own relatives to ask, anywhere in the country. Because families reading this may be deciding whether to call us, we've answered each one honestly for Meléndez Funeral Home too.
First, know your rights: the FTC Funeral Rule
Before the questions, know this: a federal regulation called the FTC Funeral Rule protects every funeral consumer in the United States. Under it, any funeral home must:
- Give you prices over the phone — without requiring your name or contact information
- Give you an itemized, written price list (the General Price List) when you ask in person, and it's yours to keep
- Let you buy only the goods and services you want, rather than forcing a package
- Accept a casket or urn you bought elsewhere, without charging a handling fee
- Never claim embalming is required by law when it isn't — no state requires routine embalming, and no law anywhere requires a casket for cremation (a simple alternative container is allowed)
Every question below is easier to ask once you know the law is on your side.
The 10 questions
1. "Can you give me your prices over the phone?"
Under the Funeral Rule, the answer must be yes — without asking who you are. A funeral home that hesitates, deflects to "come in and we'll talk," or wants your information first is telling you something.
Our answer: Yes. Call (845) 342-0221 and we'll answer price questions directly, no name required.
2. "Will I get an itemized price list in writing?"
You are entitled to the General Price List, in writing, to take home. Written prices protect you from packages that quietly grow.
Our answer: Yes — written, itemized pricing is how we work with every family, and we put every package in writing before you commit to anything. Our cost guide explains what drives prices in plain language.
3. "Is embalming required?"
No state requires routine embalming — so no funeral home should tell you it's simply "required by law." It may be a practical choice for certain services, and an honest funeral director will explain when and why, not hide behind a law that doesn't exist.
Our answer: We'll tell you plainly when embalming makes sense for the service you want and when it isn't needed at all.
4. "Can I use a casket or urn purchased somewhere else?"
Yes — and the funeral home cannot charge you a fee for it. How gracefully a funeral home answers this question says a lot.
Our answer: Of course, and never with a handling fee.
5. "Who owns this funeral home?"
Many funeral homes that look local are owned by large corporations, with pricing and policies set far away. There is nothing illegal about that — but a family-owned home answers to its neighbors, not a quarterly report, and the person who sits with you at arrangement is often the owner whose name is on the door.
Our answer: We are a family funeral home. When you call, a member of the Meléndez family answers — the same people you'll see at the service. You can meet us here.
6. "Who will actually be handling my family — and can I reach them after hours?"
At some firms, the person who sells you the arrangement is not the person who serves your family. Deaths do not keep business hours; ask who picks up at 3 a.m.
Our answer: Our family, at every step, and the phone — (845) 342-0221 — is answered day and night.
7. "Do you serve families in our language?"
Grief is hard enough in your first language. In a community like Middletown, where nearly half of our neighbors are Hispanic, families deserve to make these decisions in the language they think and pray in — not through a bilingual employee who happens to be on shift, but with people who can sit with the whole family.
Our answer: We are the area's bilingual family funeral home. Everything we do — the first call, the arrangement, the service — happens in Spanish or English, whichever your family needs.
8. "Can you handle what our family specifically needs?"
Every family has particulars: a specific parish and cemetery, military honors for a veteran, or — for many families here — bringing a loved one home to Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Guatemala, or elsewhere. International transfer involves consular paperwork most funeral homes rarely touch.
Our answer: Ask us anything specific; it's what the arrangement conversation is for. International transfers are our specialty — you can read how that works here.
9. "What happens if we can't afford everything at once?"
An honest funeral home talks about money before you commit, not after — and will tell you about help that may exist (Social Security's lump-sum death payment, VA burial allowances for veterans, county burial assistance for families who qualify) rather than pretending cost is beside the point.
Our answer: We'll always tell you honestly, in writing, what things cost before you agree to anything, and we help families apply for the assistance they may be entitled to.
10. "If we plan ahead, where does our money go?"
If you're pre-planning, New York's answer is written into law: General Business Law §453 requires 100% of preneed funds to go into an interest-bearing trust within ten business days, with the interest belonging to you and a full, penalty-free refund available on demand for revocable agreements. Any funeral home taking preneed money should explain this without being asked twice.
Our answer: We follow §453 to the letter, and we'll walk you through it — see pre-planning.
How to use this list
You don't have to run all ten questions like an interview. Pick the three that matter most to your family, make the calls, and listen as much to how homes answer as to what they say. A funeral home that welcomes questions before it has your business will be straightforward with you after.
If you'd like our answers in person, we're at 30 Grove Street in Middletown — call (845) 342-0221 or reach us here, and there's never a charge for asking. More common questions are answered on our FAQ page.